lntoday'~ soc~iety, it is becoming increasingly more difficult to encourage and raise healthy ~Iniiies

Sociology of Family and Marriage - Paper Three (Spring 1998)

The conclusion is a bit short, but otherwise this paper is an excellent example of defending a position with facts. This student's textbook is Choices by JG Well.

ln today's society, it is becoming increasingly more difficult to encourage and raise healthy families. Some go as far as to say that problem families create individuals that have problems, who in turn create their own families which have problems. If this is true, then because of the large number of individuals who have suffered abuse, violence, and neglect in their families of origin, ending the cycle is a major problem. Research presented here will show that the cycle of violence does exist, but, I will also present the argument that an end to the cycle is possible, and also offer examples to achieve that end.

Professionals who deal with families recognize the cycle, and rank child abuse, neglect, and family violence as number one on the list of critical issues facing American families (Survey by Jenson & Warstadt, l990 Choices p401). While most families wouldn't consider violence to be beneficial to family life, violence is nonetheless prevalent in many households. Today, the home is increasingly more threatening, and crime experts have labeled the home as one of the most violent places in our society. Statistics convey that you are more likely to be killed by a member of your family than by someone else, as shown by a study that one in five murder victim is killed by a family member (O&D p44).

Common types of violence include spousal abuse, child abuse, and sibling abuse. In a major national survey of married couples in 1980, 16 percent said they had experienced some form of physical violence with their spouse during the previous year, and 28 percent had experienced violence at some time during their marriage (Straus et al.Choices p326). Spousal abuse is estimated by researchers to affect 3 million people a year, and is more often reported as male aggression against the female. Regardless, some people believe that it is okay for a husband to hit his wife under some circumstances (Stark and McEvoy, I 979Choices p326). They equate this behavior with that of spanking a child for disciplinary purposes, which isn't ordinarily considered violence. Also, the incidence of female aggression against the male is on the rise, and much of that violence appears to be in self defense (O&D ~90). According to Strauss, Gelles and Steinmetz, authors of the book Behind ClosedDoors: violence in the American Family, in any given year, one of every twenty-two wives in the U.S. beats her husband (Choices p326). The numbers for both forms of spousal abuse are thought to be understated because many cases often go unreported (Steinmetz, 1987-Choices p327).

Another type of abuse in the family, child abuse, affects more than 1 million children a year in the U.S. Child neglect is the most commonly reported type of abuse, and accounts for an estimated 49 percent of the cases reported each year. Physical abuse accounts for 23 percent of the reported cases, and sexual abuse accounts for 14 percent of all reported cases (O&D 479). In a 1990 report' 375,000 cases of child sexual abuse were cited for that year alone (O&D 486):

Sibling abuse is the last common form of abuse in the family. In a study of sibling violence, it was estimated that 75 percent of siblings experience at least one violent episode a year (O&D p495). Of the siblings that perpetrated the violence, 76 percent were themselves repeatedly abused by parents (O&D p496).

Although research proves that family violence, in all its forms, is a growing concern in today^'s society, I believe that the seemingly unending cycle of problem individuals and problem families can be dealt with. Since family violence happens because of underlying problems, certain issues have to be addressed and realistic measures have to be taken. One issue, for example, is the problem of substance abuse, which is a leading cause of family violence. An estimated 12 million men, women and children suffer from alcoholism in the U.S. (O&D p497), and alcohol is a factor in almost half the murders in this country (O&D p497). In a national sample of more than 2,000 couples, it was found that in general, the more often a spouse was drunk, the greater the likelihood of physical violence in the marital relationship (O&D ~98). An increased awareness within the community concerning substance abuse, and the advent of alcohol support groups, can offer abusers the help they need. As a result, substance abuse related family violence can be controlled and stopped. If families will seek treatment together, then individuals can then learn that drugs and alcohol is a problem that isn't worth the price of losing a family.

Another example for dealing with family violence is to engage in non-violent conflict. Conflict in the family is naturally inevitable, but better ways of dealing with that conflict must be developed. Occasional non-violent quarrels are beneficial in that they can help clear the air by set~ issues that caused the conflict. On the other hand, Straus (1974), after many years of studying marital and family conflict, found that aggressive behavior in trying to solve conflict usually leads to even more aggressive behavior and violence (Choices p329). In conjunction with family behavior counseling, community churches could offer conflict resolving sessions to help eliminate the episodes of violent conflict within families.

Inability to handle anger is an example of another problem associated with violence in the family. Some degree of anger is inevitable in any intimate relationship. But, David Mace (1976), a leading authority in the field of marriage, states that the inability to resolve anger is a fundamental cause of marital failure (Choices p332). Ellis (1976) suggests three steps for handling anger:

I. Acknowledge your anger and assume full responsibility for that anger.

2. Renounce your anger as inappropriate for a loving relationship.

3. Ask your partner for help. (Choices p334)

Acknowledging and assuming responsibility for your anger eliminates the need to place blame. It

helps you find the reasons why YOU are angry. Renouncing your anger as inappropriate doesn't mean that you are wrong in being angry; it just means that you realize that any kind of anger is detrimental to the relationship. Asking your partner for help allows both to realize the reasons for anger and aides in the resolving of problems. Couples can sit down together and practice these ways of handling anger, thus, controlling violence.

The methods discussed above are obviously not the only ways for coping with and solving family violence but, they do present effective measures for eliminating family violence. I feel that if the problem areas are addressed, and these ideas are utilized, the cycle of family violence can be stopped.